Few days back, a video clip went viral on social media, where a European traveling in a plane filmed his co-passenger eating food with her bare hands (without knives and forks) and said that it was gross to do so. As usual, the comments section was quickly filled with opinion about the cultured and acceptable way of eating in a public place.
Look, there is a fundamental difference in the way diverse cultures process societal ideas. In some cases, it is seen that the gap in cultures is so wide that an idea which finds acceptance naturally and organically in one group, feels absurd and unacceptable to another.
The earliest form of social development had a lot to do with the landscape where the society thrived. So something as simple as food choices (staple) were driven by natural resources and weather conditions. Although the same can’t be said about food habits. So, while the basic need for cultivation of staple food remained same everywhere, food habits or table manners evolved differently and varied vastly. Habits and manners come into picture when hunger is met. Etiquette therefore cannot be counted as a need; it becomes a form of expression.
Expressions evolve when cultures evolve over a span of time. Longer the time span of evolution, deeper is the degree of expression. Etiquette, fashion, sports and performing arts are all forms of expression and they are primitive as such.
Societies which evolve consistently over thousands of years reach the apex stage of development. For them culture does not remain limited to artistic expressions, culture becomes a way of life and a pursuit of liberation. Primitive societies which are stuck in the exploration and expression stage find it difficult to understand certain ideas.
MARYADA is one such idea, seemingly understandable but ephemeral. It is stuck between two polar opposite world views, one which believes in liberty and another which believes in adherence. One believes that freedom of expression is the biggest indicator of evolution. Other believes that total and absolute surrender is the purest state of existence. One believes in maximizing the present, other hopes for the maximum future. How then can either of these cultures possibly understand the essence of Maryada?
Maryada is loosely translated as limit or restrain, but Maryada is a concept unique to Sanatana and hence has no parallel word in any other culture. Where limit, is a point or level beyond which something does not or may not extend and restrain is the tool to prevent someone or something from exceeding the set limits, Maryada, is a state of mind which neither needs a guideline nor a tool to keep oneself from excess. Maryada is a choice voluntarily made with the awareness that it is with constraints, coexistence and compassion that one can achieve liberation, Moksha (here again, Moksha is a concept that has no parallel expression, but more on that some other time). Hence, Maryada is an exercise in personal and social conduct while being in a state of self-imposed constraints.
Now the catch is, peace prevails only when every individual, every unit subscribes to this concept of Maryada. It is a delicately balanced idea. If even one unit succumbs to greed, then the balance is lost. Only if the entire society works in tandem and harmony, is when the possibility of moving a step further towards Moksha exist. Now think rationally, how can one practice Maryada when half of the society is driven by greed to maximize the present and the remaining is driven by the pursuit of the promised paradise?
Maryada can only be practiced in societies where the idea is reciprocated or in isolation as an ascetic. Primitive cultures lack the wherewithal to understand and appreciate such values and hence they mock at such concepts and use them to push the tolerant few in to a corner of irrelevance. The effect is, those with lesser resolve merge with other easier world views, but a few push back.
It is this push back that comes as a shock. Those who consciously or unconsciously practice Maryada, are expected to do so forever and hence when they dismantle their shackles, it sends shock-waves through the social fabric. Rest of the world is habituated to expect tolerance, from the practitioners of Maryada, instead when it receives a thrust it feels unfamiliar, unexpected, unsettling and uniquely scary.
Worry not, the concept of Maryada is etched in the subconscious and hence even the thrust has an element of Maryada embedded in it. Therefore, it is exercised with just enough intensity to make space for those who wish to live practicing the Sanatana way of life. The moment sufficient space is made; people fall back to their chosen ideals.
Unlike other world views, Sanatana isn’t obsessed with forcing everyone to adopt their way of life. Rest of the world can observe and choose if they find merit. Unlike other world views Sanatana isn’t rigid and limited, it is ever evolving, ever expanding, while it continues to practice the values honed over thousands of years.
Counterintuitive as it may sound, the shackles are the means for true liberation, but only if one can see appreciate the beauty of the design. May the Purushottama guide us in the practice of Maryada. May peace prevail.
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